In this blog I am including a song by f.u.n that is called “Some
nights”. I feel like this song fits my thought process since coming to Uganda. It’s
actually really weird how close this song fits my life in Uganda.
Before coming to Uganda I thought poverty alleviation looked
a certain way. I was wrong! Does giving to the poor really solve the need? I
have realized that not all-mainstream organizations truly help the community by
giving to the poor. For example everybody knows the company TOMS buy a pair of
shoes and give a pair of shoes. It seems like a great idea to be able to give a
pair of shoes to people in need. However, what about the people in that
community that sell shoes for a living; by giving shoes away free of charge you
are causing that person to lose business and not have money to provide for his
or her family. Yes, the concept is great, but in practice it does more harm than
good.
The song starts out with “some night I stay up cashing in my
bad luck some night I call it a drug.” Well I have not had much bad luck. I avoided
the great flood of 2013 where two MacBook Pros were ruined due to a flood in
the hall. I’m not doing any drugs; I am taking Malaria pills, which I really
hope they work because I never sleep with my mosquito net. Oops!!
“Some night I wish that my lips would build a castle some
night I wish they just fall off.” This statement could not be any truer. I so
wish that I would achieve something that would help the people around me both
here and the States. However, the easy option of just giving money doesn’t
help. I think there is something beautiful about Jesus coming down and being
around the least of these. What does it look like for me to help the people who
are the poor and the hurting? Not saying that the poor and hurting do not know
Jesus, because I think they do. I don’t need to preach to them. I just need to
be in community with them. But what does that look like? What does that look like
as a young white college student? This is one of my greatest frustrations. To
see problems and be totally helpless with no way to fix the pain that one has.
“But I still wake up.” It’s hard. Living in a third world
country is hard. Thinking back I could have study abroad anywhere and I choose
a third world country. Even in the struggles of life here and seeing poverty,
abuse, and eating rice and beans everyday. But at the same time much of those
same struggles are in the US. However, we cover them up with pretty houses or
designer name brands. In the mist of all this I have to hang on to hope.
“What do I stand for, most nights I don’t know anymore?”
AMEN! As a Christian and a follower of Christ, I want to show certain
characteristics and be able to help people through whatever situation they are
in. Being here and going to the slums or seeing the street kids at my practicum
site I realized that I cannot help them. I just have to suffer with them in the
little bit of time I have with them. We have certain guided engagements that we
have to fulfill in our class and one of those is having a meeting with a cohort
leader. One day at lunch a few of my classmates and I met for lunch with the
director of the USP program. We were talking about how to bring back to the
States what we have learned here and how that will affect our career or our
major upon returning. Then Mark our director shared with us that (this is in my
words of what he said so it is not his exact words) there is not a golden major,
that will make all our worries about if we are doing what God wants go away.
However, whether we work internationally or in the States whatever we do we can
show the love of Christ. The Staff here at this program are INCREDIBLE. When I
talk to them I always wish that I would have brought a recorder or wrote down
what they said because it is so wise. It’s absolutely incredible how much I
have learned from them.
This relates to the song lyric because I’m not sure how all
of what I have learned plays into what I believe and what I want to do with my
life. I thought I had my life planned out but I don’t. I do know that I want to
go to grad school; however, I’m not sure if that would be for seminary, social
work, or community development. There are certain privileges that we have in
the US and coming here and not having them, I realized that some of what I
believed came from a privileged mindset. Causing my beliefs to be one sided.
What do I stand for?
I’m skipping part of
the song, “I found a martyr in my bed tonight.” No I did not really see a
martyr in my bed, I have found bugs and lizards and other animals. But I did go
to the martyr site in Uganda where many young men were killed for believing in
Christ. In Buganda (the state like thing which I am staying) a region in
Uganda, they have a kabaka, the king. One of the Kings welcomed Christianity
but soon later order it to be banned. Some of the first Christian converts were
in the kings courts and when they accepted Christ they did not make traditional
sacrifices to the king and they refused the kings sexual advances. The king then
ordered them to crawl on their back from Kampala the capital of Uganda to the
place where they were burned alive which I believe was about 10 miles. During
their crawl from Kampala they were singing songs of praise to God. Since the
martyr did not die before they reached their finally destination, they were
wrapped with bamboo and tied then set on fire beginning with their feet. This
was a powerful and moving site to see. Knowing years before, the place that I
was standing was a place where Christians were beaten, burn, and killed. I’m not
making lite of this by relating it to a song but I’m just sharing how its
affect has been an apparent throughout my journey in Uganda.
“This is it boys this is war what are we waiting for why
don’t we break the walls already.” What am I waiting for? To get a degree to
have tons of money in my bank account, I can stand up for justice now. I can
get involved with my community back home and help the people that I’m
surrounded with. Perry County is one of the top 10 poorest counties in the
States. I go to school there but what do I do to help the community or be
involved in the community. Do I make the communities needs my needs. I’m not
saying that I can make Perry County a non-poor county but it reminds me of John
Perkins. How he left his nice house in California and went back to Mississippi
to help develop the town there that was divided by racial tension. It doesn’t
have to be that drastic. One thing that I have learned since being in Uganda is
that I want to help Perry County I had to leave the community in order to
realize that I want to become apart of it.
“What do I stand for.”? I do not know what I believe about
poverty alleviation and how to fix it or how to fix the racial tension that is
still surrounding us. Or the many other issues that are surrounding us as a
community that we just turn a blind eye to. But I do know for me it starts with
Gratitude because it focuses me on God, tunes me into reality, and it affects
my attitude. With 1 degree changes I can only hope that one day I can witness a
change in my community both locally and internationally.
