What do I stand for?

In this blog I am including a song by f.u.n that is called “Some nights”. I feel like this song fits my thought process since coming to Uganda. It’s actually really weird how close this song fits my life in Uganda.

Before coming to Uganda I thought poverty alleviation looked a certain way. I was wrong! Does giving to the poor really solve the need? I have realized that not all-mainstream organizations truly help the community by giving to the poor. For example everybody knows the company TOMS buy a pair of shoes and give a pair of shoes. It seems like a great idea to be able to give a pair of shoes to people in need. However, what about the people in that community that sell shoes for a living; by giving shoes away free of charge you are causing that person to lose business and not have money to provide for his or her family. Yes, the concept is great, but in practice it does more harm than good.

The song starts out with “some night I stay up cashing in my bad luck some night I call it a drug.” Well I have not had much bad luck. I avoided the great flood of 2013 where two MacBook Pros were ruined due to a flood in the hall. I’m not doing any drugs; I am taking Malaria pills, which I really hope they work because I never sleep with my mosquito net. Oops!!

“Some night I wish that my lips would build a castle some night I wish they just fall off.” This statement could not be any truer. I so wish that I would achieve something that would help the people around me both here and the States. However, the easy option of just giving money doesn’t help. I think there is something beautiful about Jesus coming down and being around the least of these. What does it look like for me to help the people who are the poor and the hurting? Not saying that the poor and hurting do not know Jesus, because I think they do. I don’t need to preach to them. I just need to be in community with them. But what does that look like? What does that look like as a young white college student? This is one of my greatest frustrations. To see problems and be totally helpless with no way to fix the pain that one has.

“But I still wake up.” It’s hard. Living in a third world country is hard. Thinking back I could have study abroad anywhere and I choose a third world country. Even in the struggles of life here and seeing poverty, abuse, and eating rice and beans everyday. But at the same time much of those same struggles are in the US. However, we cover them up with pretty houses or designer name brands. In the mist of all this I have to hang on to hope.  

“What do I stand for, most nights I don’t know anymore?” AMEN! As a Christian and a follower of Christ, I want to show certain characteristics and be able to help people through whatever situation they are in. Being here and going to the slums or seeing the street kids at my practicum site I realized that I cannot help them. I just have to suffer with them in the little bit of time I have with them. We have certain guided engagements that we have to fulfill in our class and one of those is having a meeting with a cohort leader. One day at lunch a few of my classmates and I met for lunch with the director of the USP program. We were talking about how to bring back to the States what we have learned here and how that will affect our career or our major upon returning. Then Mark our director shared with us that (this is in my words of what he said so it is not his exact words) there is not a golden major, that will make all our worries about if we are doing what God wants go away. However, whether we work internationally or in the States whatever we do we can show the love of Christ. The Staff here at this program are INCREDIBLE. When I talk to them I always wish that I would have brought a recorder or wrote down what they said because it is so wise. It’s absolutely incredible how much I have learned from them.

This relates to the song lyric because I’m not sure how all of what I have learned plays into what I believe and what I want to do with my life. I thought I had my life planned out but I don’t. I do know that I want to go to grad school; however, I’m not sure if that would be for seminary, social work, or community development. There are certain privileges that we have in the US and coming here and not having them, I realized that some of what I believed came from a privileged mindset. Causing my beliefs to be one sided. What do I stand for?

 I’m skipping part of the song, “I found a martyr in my bed tonight.” No I did not really see a martyr in my bed, I have found bugs and lizards and other animals. But I did go to the martyr site in Uganda where many young men were killed for believing in Christ. In Buganda (the state like thing which I am staying) a region in Uganda, they have a kabaka, the king. One of the Kings welcomed Christianity but soon later order it to be banned. Some of the first Christian converts were in the kings courts and when they accepted Christ they did not make traditional sacrifices to the king and they refused the kings sexual advances. The king then ordered them to crawl on their back from Kampala the capital of Uganda to the place where they were burned alive which I believe was about 10 miles. During their crawl from Kampala they were singing songs of praise to God. Since the martyr did not die before they reached their finally destination, they were wrapped with bamboo and tied then set on fire beginning with their feet. This was a powerful and moving site to see. Knowing years before, the place that I was standing was a place where Christians were beaten, burn, and killed. I’m not making lite of this by relating it to a song but I’m just sharing how its affect has been an apparent throughout my journey in Uganda.     

“This is it boys this is war what are we waiting for why don’t we break the walls already.” What am I waiting for? To get a degree to have tons of money in my bank account, I can stand up for justice now. I can get involved with my community back home and help the people that I’m surrounded with. Perry County is one of the top 10 poorest counties in the States. I go to school there but what do I do to help the community or be involved in the community. Do I make the communities needs my needs. I’m not saying that I can make Perry County a non-poor county but it reminds me of John Perkins. How he left his nice house in California and went back to Mississippi to help develop the town there that was divided by racial tension. It doesn’t have to be that drastic. One thing that I have learned since being in Uganda is that I want to help Perry County I had to leave the community in order to realize that I want to become apart of it.

“What do I stand for.”? I do not know what I believe about poverty alleviation and how to fix it or how to fix the racial tension that is still surrounding us. Or the many other issues that are surrounding us as a community that we just turn a blind eye to. But I do know for me it starts with Gratitude because it focuses me on God, tunes me into reality, and it affects my attitude. With 1 degree changes I can only hope that one day I can witness a change in my community both locally and internationally.